Tiny Habits and Their Far-Reaching Consequences

I spend a significant portion of my life making food-related decisions for my family. What do I need to buy at the store? What is for dinner? Do we have enough bread? Are we running out of breakfast foods? Do I need to take anything out of the freezer in order to make dinner? Do I need to make bread, rolls, crackers, pasta, dessert, or any other time-consuming item in order to be prepared to meet my family’s food needs? It has become my “default mode”. It makes me want to eat and it’s a very fattening default mode. My children are growing up and need less of my constant help and attention. I have some chunks of time some days where I suddenly realize that I have no one wanting or needing anything from me. Sure, I still need to be available to them, but they can manage much of their schoolwork and household jobs without a lot of help from me. I often find myself standing in the middle of the kitchen wondering what I’m supposed to be doing or making now when in reality the answer is – nothing. I’m trying to train myself to new “default modes”. I love to read but even that feels unproductive after a time so I am trying to focus on new creative outlets such as drawing, or writing, or playing the piano. I am enjoying these things, but I think I will need some reminder signs and more consistent menu planning to help me when I enter the kitchen and find myself standing there looking for something to busy myself with. I want better consequences from my personal “default mode” than what comes from always thinking about food.

My children have a “default mode” as well. Hmm. Perhaps it would be more accurate to describe it as a Pavlovian response when we wake them up in the morning. Without thought, they all stumble in to the living room and drop, in a semi-catatonic state, onto the sofas. There they sit like zombies until everyone is present and we force our eyes and mouths to read and sing, or rather croak, the words of a hymn or Primary song. Then we read from the scriptures for a little while, have family prayer and discuss upcoming events of the day. This half-asleep “default mode” has become one of our family’s greatest blessings. We have done this since our oldest was very young and no one today even thinks to argue or question it. Over time it has created a stronger family bond and interest in one another’s activities that would not be there otherwise. Our children know a great many Primary songs and hymns they otherwise would not, giving something good to fill their minds during the day when their brains go into “idle mode”. Collectively, we have read the Book of Mormon through several times and they understand the progression of the story line and the basic doctrines that are taught in it. Waking up in our home is a smoother, steadier process that is less likely to rile tempers or result in a last-minute rush as a result of over-sleeping. It’s not always easy to wake up and start the wheels rolling as a parent, but the results have been very worth it.